


Megamind, The Avengers Edition

by tonystarkstolemyponcho



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Megamind (2010), The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Avengers AU, FrostIron - Freeform, General sass warning, I just really like this movie, IronFrost - Freeform, M/M, Megamind AU, Megamind [Freeform], Megamind plotline, Possible Smut?, Thor has fabulous hair, Tony is a snarky reporter, Who the fuck knows?, other ships if you squint, starki - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-28
Updated: 2014-01-02
Packaged: 2018-01-06 10:28:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1105724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tonystarkstolemyponcho/pseuds/tonystarkstolemyponcho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The wayward super-villain Loki finally defeats his nemesis, the superhero Thor. But without good to rival his evil, he loses all purpose and must find new meaning in his life. Perhaps said meaning lies within the snarky reporter Tony Stark, a man that Loki has a penchant for kidnapping.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Loki’s day wasn’t proving itself to be too great. By all accounts, one would even call it a catastrophe. He had gone to jail, lost the man of his dreams, and got his ass kicked around quite a lot. Still, things could have been a lot worse – or so he tried to convince himself. As soon as that positive outlook came into mind, the recollection of the fact that, yes, he was falling hundreds of feet from the sky to his death. So, no, things could not possibly get any worse. It certainly didn’t feel like that. Loki had always thought that falling would be a more immediate thing with a permanent destination. At least that was with his previous experiences. Then again, this was certainly a different circumstance by all accounts.

 _How did it all come to this?_ one may ask. Well, Loki’s end starts at the beginning, the very beginning. To a time where he was even unaware of his surroundings, much less conscious of the fact that he was hurtling to the ground to meet his imminent death.

On Loki’s home planet, he would have been described as cute. Well, he was unsure of that fact exactly. He would have liked to think that complimentary things were said about his chubby, blue skinned baby-self. One of the men who he had grown up with kept a picture of Loki on the wall, fondly referring to it as the most fucked up day of his life. But Hal had died a few years back by means of electric chair, so he no longer had to dwell on Loki’s brash arrival. None the less, back to the past. Loki would have said that he had a fairly standard childhood; he came from what was referred as a ‘broken home’ on Earth. Loki meant ‘broken’ quite literally. Their planet was facing impending doom and their race was about to be exterminated. Loki didn’t recall of Jötunheimr all to clearly, but who could blame him? He was merely eight days old when he was evacuated. Eight days old and still living under his parent’s crumbling roof. How sad was that? Clearly it was time to move on. Fly the nest, make his own way in the world. Upon being placed into his craft, his parents had bestowed two things to him. Minion and Binky, a sucker that he had been attached to until a rather embarrassing age. Minion had been sworn to keep him safe, but that seemingly failed if Loki was still falling out of the damn sky.

“You are destined for-” He never heard the rest of it from his father seeing as the door to the pod closed and effectively cut off his words. But Loki would have liked to think that it was rather important and inspiring. Destined for what? He questioned to this very day. For evil? For destruction? There were so many unanswered questions, not that he could ask his parents that now. The last he saw of them were their hazy figures as his pod took off from his planet. His home. The ruins of which it had began to diminish to. Once a great and powerful nation, now degraded to nothing but ash and rock floating around the solar system. None the less, Loki set out to find his destiny. Whatever that may have been.

Turns out another child from the neighboring realm of Asgard had the exact same idea. Loki knew from the moment that the other child’s superior craft had thrown him off course that he didn’t like him. Well, perhaps that was a little bit of an underestimation. That self righteous smirk that Loki could only imagine the other baby giving him signed all of the closing deals between the two of them. In hindsight, Loki had to wonder why they had clashed so aggressively on that first meeting. Then, on the other hand, he understood all too well.

Mister Goody Two Shoes. Thor Odinson.

That day, their glorious rivalry was born. At least something had risen from the ashes of their fallen domains, but why in Gods name did it have to be that idiot that came from Asgard? There were other children, Loki was sure. Other children who deserved a fighting chance other than that pompous fool. As Loki descended upon the earth, he must have thought about what life was waiting for him. Would it be a dream life filled with luxury and promise?

Apparently not.

Even fate picks it's favourites in life, no matter how small or young said unfavoured may be. No big deal. A much different fate awaited Loki at Metro City Prison For the Criminally Gifted. The location seemed awfully fitting for what was the come in the youth's life. It was a place that thought him the difference between right and wrong. Which, in retrospect, was a little bit warped from the society norms. Mister Goody Two Shoes, however, got his life handed to him on a silver platter. The power of flight, invulnerability, and great hair. But Loki had something far, far greater. His amazing intellect and knack for building objects of mayhem. Of course, with the addition of his ability to conjure ice on any given occasion and use magic (although people would scoff at the concept, so Loki just referred to it as ingenious technology) certainly wasn't a downfall once he learned to control it. Loki had lost count of how many impromptu snow days he had conjured in accordance to a rather powerful sneeze. The other inmates adored him, mainly to be attributes to the fact that he creations often brought forth their long-awaited freedom.

After a few years, and with some time off for good behaviour, Loki was given the opportunity to better himself through learning at a strange place called 'school'. It was there where he once again ran into Mister Goody Two Shoes, the one and only Thor. He had already amassed a gigantic army of soft-headed groupies by the time that Loki arrived. All of which looked at him oddly and laughed whenever he seemed to do something deemed as weird. Perhaps there was where his blind hatred for Thor truly shone through. That and his undoubted adoration and loyalty toward Minion, who had somehow become accustomed to the name of 'Clint'. Well, who was Loki if only to comply to his companion's wishes and preferences? Although, he still did refer to him as Minion on the off chance.

Thor bought their affections with showmanship and extravagant gifts of deliciousness that only children could be won over by. So Loki too endeavoured to win over those mindless drones. He spent countless hours in his cell mulling over designs and ways of which to impress them all. It started off by making a metal body for the head of minion, in par with the attempt to make popcorn - not unlike the fashion of which Thor did so. But, as should have been predicted, that turned out to be nothing more than a catastrophic failure of which Thor just so happened to save the class from. That was when Loki learned a very hard lesson, one of which plagued him for years to come. Good received all the praise, while genius was even sent to quiet time in the corner. Fitting in, for Loki, wasn't exactly an option. While the other children were learning the likes of incy wincy spider, Loki learned how to dehydrate animate objects and rehydrate them at will. For a long time, it felt like it was just him and Clint (cough, Minion, cough), against the world. No matter how hard Loki tried, he was always the odd man out, the last one picked, the screw up, the black sheep, the bad boy, the... well, you get the picture. Even in some menial game of dodge ball where a girl with a broken leg was picked in favour of him. That was bound to sting his pride more than a little bit.

So what did Loki do? He adapted to the situation, he created bigger and better things to counter everything that life threw at him. Was this Loki's destiny? To be overshadowed by some golden boy and create mayhem when he tried to counter those far too wholesome actions of the other? Wait, maybe it was. Being bad was the one thing that Loki was good at. Then it hit him, and hit him hard. If Loki was the bad boy, then Loki was going to be the baddest boy of them all. Why do things half assed when he could have some fun with it all? Loki was destined to be a super-villain, and they were destined to be rivals. The die had been cast, and so began an enduring epic lifelong career.

And Loki _loved_ it.

Their battles quickly got more elaborate, and there wasn't a tabloid in the city that didn't report on the most recent happenings. Thor would win some, Loki would almost win others. Their names were already odd enough without having to add some odd kind of play-on words. Loki Laufeyson, incredibly handsome, criminal genius and master of all villainy. And yet the people of the public seemed to completely overlook Loki's brilliance. Perhaps it was his ability to bring forth utter pandemonium without a second glance. Or perhaps it was for far more vain reasons like his blue skin and the bright red eyes that people tended to flinch away from. Whatever, Loki had thought, let them fear him. Fear was power, and he craved it completely. 

Loki was always two steps ahead of people. Whether that be attributed to the incompetence of those around him or his own ability to manipulate people, it was difficult to decipher. But Loki would have liked to think that it was the latter. It got to the point that he went back to prison whenever he pleased, more often than not for a short vacation. He got a private holding cell with a TV and round the clock security by the door. What a way to make a guy feel special. Bringing it up to the day that all of Loki's dreams seemed to come through but, in reality, it was only the start of his severe problems.

 

"You can read on your own time," Fury snapped at Coulson, back military straight and hands clasped behind his back as he glared at the guard with his one visible eye. Coulson had been assigned the position of guarding the super-villain's door due to his undying loyalty to his job and his apparent dislike for the man of which that cell contained. Although Fury himself did despise the man, he did have to uphold a certain level of respect for him. He was the one inmate that didn't complain constantly. Then again, he was never in there long enough to do so.

"Open up," he continued to instruct, waving a free hand dismissively and pointedly ignoring the blatant eye roll from the other as the window to Loki's cell opened. When Fury peered in, there was no blue-skinned freak in sight, something that made the formidable man open his mouth to cry out a warning to sound out the alarms. If it weren't for the fact that Loki jumped up from out of sight with a ridiculous 'boo', Fury would have very well opened that cell. Loki laughed with mirth, bounding back to the chair situated in the middle of the room and sat down in it - long legs crossed over one another as he did so.

"Good morning, warden!" Loki greeted, sounding far too pleased for someone who had just received their prison sentence. Loki spun around in the chair, an arrogant smirk displayed on those features. "Marvellous news, I am a changed man, and I am ready to re-enter society as a solid citizen."

"You're a villain," Fury replied with little hesitation, knowing this drill all too well, "and you'll always be a villain. You'll never change. And your ass is never going to leave. You got that?"

"You're fun," Loki drawled in reply, smile never wavering.

"You've got a present in the mail," Fury continued, pointedly ignoring Loki's input on the matter.

"Oh, wonderful. Is it a puppy?"

"It's from Thor," he continued, taking the box from behind his back and removing an expensive looking watch from within it. Fury glanced down to the note that came with it, reciting it with nothing less than a smug tone. "To count down every second of your eight-five life sentences," he paused, but only to snort in amusement and to toss the note away, "that's funny. Never thought that Thor was the gloating type. Damn, but he does have nice taste... I think I'll keep it." It wasn't a request to keep the watch rather than a blatant symbol that he was going to take it anyway and rub it in Loki's face.

"Any chance that I could have the time?" Loki inquired instead, completely unaffected by it all. "I would hate to be late for the opening of the Thor museum."

"Oh no!" Fury proclaimed, mock aghast in that same dry tone that never seemed to waver. "It looks like you're going to miss it. By several thousand years." Thinking that he was the one with the last word, Fury turned on his heel and strode away.

Loki chuckled, resting his chin atop his fingers as he watched the warden walk away. "Oh am I?"

It was only a matter of time before the watch did it's work and, surely enough, there was a frantic call that a prisoner was walking around scott-free. The prisoners rattled the bars of their metal confines, either asking to be set free too or trying to rouse a guard's attention.

"What the hell are you motherfuckers doing?!" Fury cried out in outrage as two guards immediately pounced on him, taking his hostile words as a threat and proceeding to shock him with a taser. Which, by the way, hurt a lot more than Fury had ever expected. The two guards hauled him from under the arms back toward the cell that he had just come from before. Obediently, and a little befuddled, Coulson opened up the cell once more and Fury was restrained back in the chair as Loki hid behind said chair. Truly they should have thought of a better sized chair if they didn't want things like this to happen.

"No, you fools," he groaned, head lulling from side to side, "he's tricked us."

From the door, Loki smirked and manifested his own glamour. "You were right," he mused, now standing there as Fury with his arms spread wide, "I'll always be a villain."

Loki made his escape with little to no difficulty after that. Simply walking through the prison with an air of power and intimidation of which Fury always seemed to ooze. As predicted, his concealed ride was there the moment that he stepped out of the harsh confines of the prison. The door of the vehicle swung open to reveal Clint in all of his half-bot glory.

"Hello good lookin'," he greeted with a laugh, "need a lift?"

"Sure I do, you magnificent minion you," Loki quipped in response, hardly hesitating any longer before he hopped in and dropped the illusion without so much as a roll of his shoulders. "Commendable work sending me the watch, Clint," Loki told him with a joyous grin. Even though he had only been in captivity for a few hours, nothing could take away from the complete sensation of freedom that rocketed through his body.

 

"Happy Thor day, Metro City. It's a beautiful day down town where we're here to honour a beautiful man. Thor. His heart is an ocean that's inside a bigger ocean. For years, he's been watching us with his supervision, saving us with his super strength and caring for us with his super heart. And now it's our turn to give something back. This is Tony Stark reporting live with the dedication from the Thor museum."

The reporter made a subtle motion for the camera man to cut the clip before letting out a loud exhale and running his fingers through his hair as he did so. "God, who even writes that crap?" he huffed, trying not to think too much about it. "The stuff they make me read on air is un-fucking-believable. It's crazy."

"I'm glad you think that, Tony," a new voice came on the scene in par with the distinctive clip-clop of four inch heels, "because I wrote that myself."

Tony looked up to his assistant with a smooth grin, always ready to make amends to whenever he stuck his foot in his mouth. "What I was trying to say was.. I can't believe that, in our modern day society, they let actual art get onto the news."

Pepper laughed and rolled her eyes in a fond way. "Nice save, Tony."

Tony grinned, and shrugged as though it was no big deal. "Y'know, I try my best." A clang was brought to his attention as he grimaced at the sight of Bruce, his cameraman, trying to bundle all of the equipment into the van. "Lift with the knees!" he suggested, receiving a half-hearted grunt in way of response. "Poor guy," Tony hummed, shaking his head as he did so and turned back to Pepper. "Make a note, I gotta give this guy a raise."

"You need to give Bruce an extended and paid for holiday," Pepper reprimanded with a raised brow as Bruce finally succeeded in loading the van. "He's far too stressed out."

"And what about my stress levels, Pep?" he inquired incredulously, throwing his arms out in emphasis. "You've got me reading this crap on live air and half of the city thinks I'm fucking Thor! Also, on the side, I've got a homicidal maniac kidnapping me every damn chance he gets. "

"Is that truly worse than having the whole city knowing that you've fucked at least half of the people in it?" she shot back with a pointed look before turning on her heel and calling, "I'll be around later, try not to get kidnapped," over her shoulder as she did so.

"Yeah, sure, whatever," Tony huffed, crossing his arms over his chest in annoyance as he watched the impregnable woman walk away. "You care about this, don't you, Brucie?" Tony asked, looking to the cameraman and subsequently not noticing the window of an invisible car roll down and an electronic arm shoot out toward him. "I mean, you should be watching me like a dingo watches a baby in case of this kidnapping shit. Okay, that sounded weird but you get my -"

_Fuck, not again._

 

Thor really did adore dramatic entrances, although sometimes things could be taken a bit too far. He had nothing against the museum or the city showing it's gratitude, of course he didn't. But sometimes he wished that it would be a little bit more low-key. Punching through a wall with his hammer and speaking a corny one-liner wasn't called for. That sounded a bit more like Loki's game. Oh, how the villain loved his dramatic entrances. Although, sometimes Thor did have to give him props for that. He always did make an impression, regardless how audacious or awful it was. 

It was all a bit of a song and dance before Thor eventually got bestowed with the mic, regarding the vast audience with a wide grin. "Greetings, Metro-City." 

_Was that woman crying over that?_

"I would just like to tone it down for a moment," Thor continued, moving forward on the stage with a small nod. Almost instantly, the crowd fell into complete silence. "Although getting a whole museum is flattery in it's highest degree, do you know what the greatest honour is? Do you truly want to know? I will tell you." Thor paused, but only for effect. "The greatest honour, is letting me serve you, the helpless people of Metro-City. And, at the end of each and everyday, I often ask myself 'who would I be, without you?'"

"I love you Thor!" came a manly screech from the crowd. Thor pointed vageuly in the same direction.

"And I love _you_ , random citizen." 

Meanwhile, Loki was making his way to his own lair in haste. Clint was driving at a speed which one may have referred to as dangerous, Loki felt free, and Tony Stark was tied up in the trunk. What could be better than that? 

"Ah, I'll tell you, Clint," Loki rejoiced upon stepping out of the car at the entrance, head tilted back as he took in the ambience of his surroundings, "there is no place like evil lair."

"I kept it in subdegree temperatures, just for you," he replied, hoisting an unconscious Stark over his shoulder. Loki's magically-created helpers aided him in dressing into something more sinister than orange prison scrubs. Now clad in black, green, and gold Loki truly did feel the part. 

Loki sighed, straightening out his armour and regarding the other with a serious look. "Tell me, do I look bad?"

"Absolutely horrifying."

That evoked a grin from the villain as he clasped his hands together and continued onwards into his lair. A grunt soon made itself known, and Loki may have frozen when he saw the reporter stifling in Clint's arms. He made a hasty motion for Clint to bind him to the chair, taking his own seat. Perhaps Loki may have tried to smooth down his hair, but that was only a minor thing. One wanted to look presentable when regarding a hostage, did they not? 

"Mister Stark," Loki greeted, dramatically turning around in his chair the moment that the bag was removed from the man's face. How was it that even tousled hair could not phase that charismatic look about him? No time for that thought. "We meet again."

"Would it kill you to wash the bag?" Tony shot back with a scowl, seemingly more put off about the state of the bag rather than the fact that he was there. With Loki. _Again_. 

"You can scream all you wish, Mister Stark," Loki continued, blatantly overlooking his complaint, "but I'm afraid that no one can hear you."

Tony just looked at him with a raised brow, his expression completely unimpressed and the furthest thing from fearful. What had Loki done wrong? He had applied the correct amount of intimidation and confidence to his tone. The man should be quivering. 

"Why isn't he screaming?"

Clint paused, looking down at the brunette. "Mister Stark, if you wouldn't mind."

"Is there some kind of nerdy supervillain website where you get all this crap?" Tony inquired, looking around the dark and quite dismal space. 

"Actually," Clint began to reply, "most of it comes from this outlet store in -"

"Don't you dare answer that," Loki seethed, narrowing his eyes at the both of them. 

Clint paused, but only to lower his voice as he whispered, "Romania," to Tony. 

"Minion!" Loki snapped, wheeling his chair over and pushed Clint out of the way. "He's using his nosey reporter skills on your weak willed mind to find out all of our secrets. Such tricks won't work on me."

"Talk slower," Tony breathed, an unreadable glint in his eyes.

Loki's breath may have hitched, but he didn't take that into account. "Debauchee," he accused, rolling away once more. 

"What secrets?" Tony scoffed, a knowingly look on his face, "you're so damn predictable."

"Predictable?" the villain replied, mock aghast. "Oh, you call _this_ predictable?"

"Alligators!" Tony called out gleefully as the floor opened up beneath him to reveal those snapping creatures. "Yeah, ahuh, was thinking about it on the way over."

Damn. 

"What's this then?" he shot back, pulling yet another lever to unleash a laser, "there we are, right in your face."

"Clichéd."

"No, look, watch."

"Juvenile." To thousands of knives dangling overhead? This man was impossible to please. 

"Oh, it's so terrifying!" he tried again, sending another onslaught of blades. 

"Seen it."

Loki slumped down in defeat on the control panel. 

"Oh, wait, the spider is new," Tony pondered after a moment, causing Loki to straighten and look around in mild befuddlement. Sure enough, there was a rather large spider dangling right in front of his face. Perfect, Loki could run with that. 

"Yes," he began, lowering his voice, "the spider. Even the smallest bite will instantly paralyse -"

Did Stark just blow the webbed creature into Loki's face? Evidently so, in accordance to the full slap that Clint gave the villain's face in order to remove it. 

"Give it up, Loki," Tony drawled, evidently bored of it all. Who could blame him? He had been in this position countless times. All he wanted to do was go home and work in his own lab. Not one that smelt like rust and was in desperate need of central heating. 

Loki straightened, his mouth set in a firm line as he regarded the other in a way that would have been daunting if they could have overlooked what just happened. "Well then, lets not waste time and call your boyfriend, shall we?"

Back at the opening, Thor was about to wield his hammer to break through the bright red ribbon that would officially open the museum. A large white sheet dropped to reveal a statue of colossal proportions. Everything was accurate, even down to the swish of his hair or the impressive matter of his pecs. Thor didn't want to think about how long the artist must have looked at him to create such a thing. But, as soon as the curtain was dropped, a thick black smoke rose from behind, and with it, a tall screen that effectively displayed the blue-villain's face and that trademark smirk of his. 

"Oh, bravo, Thor," Loki drawled, slowly clapping his hands together and receiving a collective boo from the audience. 

"I should have known that you would have tried to crash the party."

"I intend to do far more than crash it, I assure you." Loki drew up from the screen in his full height, hands clasped behind his back. "This is a day that you or Metrocity will never forget."

"It's Metro- _City,"_ Thor corrected. "We all know how this ends. With you behind bars."

"I'm shaking in my custom made leather boots! You, Thor, will leave Metrocity or this will be the last you'll see of Anthony Stark."

The camera changed to a view of an unimpressed and bluntly bored Stark. 

"I'm on my way, Anthony. Don't panic," the hero assured him, clutching the mic that bit tighter.

"Yeah, not panicking," Tony replied, huffing a little. "What is with this Anthony thing? It's Tony. Get it right for once."

"In order to stop me," Loki butt in, "you'll have to find me."

Tony chuckled at that, averting his gaze downwards and shaking his head as though this was the most amusing thing he had ever seen. "We're at the abandoned observatory."

"No!" Loki cried, immediately switching the camera back to him in a flurry. "Don't listen to him. We are not there. He's insane!"

With the aid of his hammer that gave him the ability to fly, it didn't take Thor very long to reach the supposed area. 

"Thor is approaching," Clint informed them, looking at a monitor. Tony laughed gleefully, to which Loki returned. Yet, Tony didn't catch on that there was something wrong with that reaction as he ducked his head and waited for the impact that never came. 

Thor landed in the observatory, yes, but there was no impending doom for Tony waiting for him there. Thor, almost at the same time as Tony, looked around their own respective areas in confusion. Where was he?

"Pity," Loki tsked, delicately pressing a button and standing out of the way as a side of the building they were in opened. "You didn't truly think that we were in the real observatory, did you?"

Tony, for the first time in quite some time, was shocked. He looked out of the window, slack jawed and in awe at the fact that he had been fooled. He wasn't in the observatory. How could he be when he was staring right at it? How the hell had that happened? Tony had been so damn sure that was where he was. Did Loki actually outsmart him? God, tony wasn't going to live this down, was he?

"Ready the death ray, if you would, Clint," Loki instructed, looking between Tony and the observatory with a bright grin.

"Death ray readying," the other confirmed almost instantly. 

"Over here, old friend," the villain said into yet another camera that was broadcast to both the museum and the observatory of which had successfully caught Thor. How brilliant was that? "As you can clearly see, you have fallen right into my trap."

"You can't trap justice. It's an idea, a belief!" Thor shot back, clenching his fists by his sides. 

"Even the most heartfelt belief can be corroded over time."

"Justice is a non-corrosive metal."

"But metal can be melted by the heat of revenge."

"Revenge is best served cold!"

"But it can easily be reheated in the microwave of evil!"

"Well, I think your warranty is about to expire."

"I got an extended warranty."

"Warranties are invalid if you do not use the product for it's intended purpose."

"Ugh," Tony groaned from his place behind Loki, looking toward the both of them with an air of annoyance and disbelief. Was there some hero-villain handbook where they got all this bullshit from? "Girls, girls, you're both pretty. Can I go home now?"

"Of course," Loki told him pleasantly, smiling from the reporter to Thor. "That is, if Thor can withstand the great power of the sun. Fire!"

Nothing happened and Loki stood there with his hand outstretched in indication to something off-frame. The silence ebbed on and on until Loki grew tired of the embarrassment and went over to investigate. 

"It's still heating up, boss," Clint told him, mechanical fingers idly tapping on the work top. 

"The sun? The sun is heating up?" Loki cried incredulously. How in the world was that supposed to work? The fire should have been instantaneous. 

"Just a second more... just one more second."

"Are you kidding me right now?" Loki groaned at the same time as Thor called, "I'm on my way, Anthony!"

"It's Tony, Point Break!" Tony shot back in a drawl before averting his attention to the failure of a villain. If Loki didn't have a penchant for kidnapping him all of the time, Tony might have felt a little sorry for him. "Give it up, Lokitty, your plan is failing. Admit it."

"Yeah, good luck with that," Clint scoffed, earning the look of death from Loki.

"Whose side are you on?" he asked, voice low and more than a little peeved.

"The losing side," Stark chipped in on Clint's behalf. "Now, could someone stamp my frequent kidnapping card?"

"You of all people know that we discontinued that promotion," Loki replied with a hooded glare. He drew back up to his regal stance, making his way toward the exit. "Farewell all!"

"Same time next week?" the reporter inquired with a quirk of his lips as he watched the other walk away, defeated. Clint was there ready with the spray to knock him out once more. It was only then when all of them became aware of a clanging noise and copious curses from the other end of the camera. Loki furrowed his brows, slowly turning around to see Thor in the observatory, lying there in a heap with a crushed expression. Was that pain that Loki saw ebbed over those rugged features? Loki ambled back over to gain a better view.

"I'm trapped!" the hero declared, plummeting to the ground after trying to escape once more.

"What kind of trickery is this?" Loki asked dubiously, his expression utterly pensive. 

"You mad genius!" Thor accused from that pathetic sprawl on the ground, "your dark gift has finally paid off!"

What? 

"It... it has?" Loki stuttered, that look graced over his features never wavering. 

"This dome, is obviously lined with copper! Copper... drains my powers."

"Your weakness is copper? You're kidding, right? Of all of the sinister things that could weaken you it has to be _copper_?"

No one really expected for the death ray to finally stop 'warming up' and fire without further ado. The observatory exploded with a blinding light, one of which they all had to shield their eyes from and brace themselves as the impact was so great. Both Loki and Clint ended up on their backs next to Stark anyway. 

"I don't think even he could survive that," Clint groaned, just managing to prop himself up on his elbows - just in time to note a figuring rising from the left over smoke. "Look!"

"Ah," Tony sighed in relief, relaxing once more within his confines. "Thor."

Loki nodded in agreement, a small smile on his features as he repeated the heroes name. That was when it registered with him and his eyes were blown wide, once more saying the man's name in a panicked sense - scrambling over Clint to get toward the door. The figure flew from the smoke at an impossible speed, landing right on top of Loki who skidded back by the force. Loki winced, waiting for a strong punch to the jaw that never came. He dared open one eye to look at the hero atop him, but saw nothing more than a skeletal form. Loki scrambled back, horrified as to what had transpired. Tony's eyes were wide and disbelieving as a breathy 'no' tumbled free from his lips. 

"I did it." It took a few moments for all of this to register with Loki and the rest of the city. "I did it," he repeated, a grin slowly melting over his features.

"Metrocity is mine!"

 


	2. Chapter 2

Perhaps winning was a little bit more anticlimactic than Loki had initially anticipated. He had craved for the people to run through the streets in fear, but they only hid in their homes as him and Clint played music to an audacious volume and generally caused havoc through the city because, hey, who could stop them? The mere thought that Loki had finally defeated Thor after all of this time was more than overwhelming. So much so that he had Clint pinch him to make sure that he wasn't having yet another one of his diabolical dreams. He wasn't, if one needed the clarification, and the city's armed forces simply stood idle by as he climbed those steps to his new abode. Nevermore would he be hiding in the shadows or rotting away in a prison cell, this was his time to shine. And he'd be damned if he wasn't going to make the most of it.

"My, my," Loki mused, standing in front of the brave ones of Metro-City, which really only included dedicated reporters and ironically cowardly police men. All the while, Loki could feel the dark eyes of Tony Stark downright glowering at him as he made the speech that would be undoubtedly memorable. "What a turn out, hm? I don't think any of you anticipated this."

Silence. Of course there had to be silence. Loki's great and brilliant speech wasn't going as planned, which was truly disappointing considering that he had a brilliant idea planned out in his mind on the way over. For the life of him, he couldn't seem to recall of any of it at that moment.

"Are there any questions?" he asked instead, raising a thin brow at the shellshocked audience before them. Ever the brave and forward Tony Stark was the only one to barge through the crowd to face Loki.

"I'm sure we'd all like to know what you plan to do with us," Stark began, his face still dirtied from the blast that had only occurred a few hours before, "and this city."

"I'm glad you asked that," the villain replied instantly, lifting his chin in a way of regal confidence. "Imagine the most horrible, terrifying, evil thing you could possibly think of..." Where exactly had he been going with this? "And multiply it by six." Loki paused, but only briefly to allow the murmurs from the crowd ripple through. "Alas, for the time being, I want you all to continue with your drear and pathetic lives for the time being. Bask in the presence of your loved ones because I can assure you that it will not last for much longer."

With that he parted his audience with a signature smirk, standing just inside the door before hissing at Clint to follow him and slam the door really hard for that extra effect. In celebration of their new living quarters, Clint may have carried Loki right into the heart of city hall. But no one was there to bear witness to it so Loki was unabashed by the bridal position of which he found himself to be in.

"Clint," Loki sighed gleefully, eyes growing wider as they flounced into each and every elaborate room, "did you ever think that this day would come?"

Clint made a noise that was a cross between a scoff and a snort, shaking his head as he did so. "No way. Not a hope in hell. Not at all. Nope. Never, ever, ever -" The glare of which Loki gave him effectively cut him off from saying anything more on the matter. The now-successful villain bounded out of Clint's arms, arms splayed wide as he sauntered toward a large desk of which he immediately jumped up on. Why not? It was his now, after all.

"And what is this?" he mused, stepping forward on the oak desk, "it bears resemblance to one of the giant monitors in the lair..."

"Oh, that," Clint began with a pointed look toward the view in front of them, "is called a window. All the kid's have 'em now."

"A window?" Loki breathed, eyes wide in awe as he more or less scrambled toward it. He could see the entire city from there. How marvellous was that? Loki's entire life had been spent either in a cell or underground. Never before had he witnessed the wonders that something so menial as a window could offer. "I've never had a view before," he murmured, bird-boned hands splayed across the glass. "Metrocity, Minion, it's all mine... If only my parents could see me know." Would they be proud of what their son had become? Or even accomplished?

"I'm sure that they're smiling down from evil heaven."

And maybe Loki smiled right back up at the stars.

 

Wrecking the city was just as much fun as Loki had always dreamed it would be. Always a lover of fine art, he raided the public gallery for his own private collection with a shopping cart in tow. He painted city hall green, although taking fine care in keeping the gold that had been bestowed upon it initially. And what was a splurge of power without robbing one or two banks? Weeks passed and not one person tried to stop Loki's reign over the city. The streets were desolate, and hardly a person was in sight at any given day. That was when it occurred to Loki that perhaps absolute power wasn't what it was cracked up to be. It was only a small ebbing in his thoughts at this point, but it was undoubtedly there - only to be voiced when he was absently talking to a small wooden trinket about the purpose of his life. Clint, however, still seemed to be basking in all of the glory. Even often to be found playing air-guitar on a priceless artefact without a care in the world.

"Not now, Minion," Loki had groaned when he burst in one day, wailing the lyrics to a power ballad at the top of his lungs. He brushed off the notes of money that were sticking to his arms. He should really find a place to stash the cash. This just wasn't practical. "Are you blind to the fact that I am in the middle of a heated existential discussion with this dead eyed, wooden desk toy?"

"Is something wrong, boss?" Clint inquired, sounding hesitant about the whole thing.

"We have it all," Loki sighed, as though that thought was an absolute burden, "and yet.. we have nothing. It's just too easy now. No fun left in the game."

"You lost me at 'we have nothing'," the other replied, somewhat bluntly at that.

"We did it, did we not?" It wasn't as though he needed the clarification, but perhaps it would ground him. To chase away the asinine thought that there was something that he was missing.

"Actually, you did it." Clint lowered his voice a little bit, perhaps just speaking to himself. "You've made that perfectly clear."

"Then why do I feel so melancholy?" he said in nothing more than a breath.

"Melon? Mena?"

Loki sighed, leaning back in his chair and opted to rephrase it. "Unhappy."

"Ah! Right, yeah," looked like the light bulb finally switched on, "how about, tomorrow, we can go kidnap Tony Stark. That always seems to lift your spirits!"

And that it did, undoubtedly so. Whether it be the man's intellect that almost seemed to match Loki's (clearly displayed when he had rattled off problems with the machinery that Loki hadn't even knonw were there) or his general wit. Or perhaps it was the fact that he was one of the few that treated him as though he wasn't a monster. Which Loki thought that he did want to happen. That reaction was familiar to him from people. But Stark.. Stark was different.

"Good idea, Clint," Loki replied, the smile that had momentarily appeared on his face now gone without a trace. "But without Thor, what's the point?"

 

"He was always there for us. Dependable. Perhaps we took him for granted. Maybe we don't know how good we have it until it's gone. We miss you, Thor... _I_ miss you. And I have just one question Loki. Are you happy now? This is Tony Stark, reporting from a city without a hope."

Turning on the news certainly wasn't a good idea on Loki's behalf. With each and every word that infuriating man spoke, something seized in Loki's chest. Something that he couldn't even identify as a familiar emotion. Loki was all too aware that the majority of things that the reporter said were based off of cards that his loyal assistant wrote. No one could really trust Tony to read from them, and occasionally one would notice something out of place. A smart remark or a sarcastic observation. Whatever it was, that was the kind of journalism that Loki enjoyed watching from the other. And this... these words of utter despise coming from his mouth? Yes, perhaps they were written by Pepper Potts, but Tony believed in them just as much as everyone else.

"Coming up next, are you ready to be a slave army? What you need to know."

Just across from Loki's current abode, stood the very reporter in front of the Thor museum that had never seen the light of day. Only those brave enough to enter without fearing too much of the possible repercussions from Loki entered and saw the hard work and dedecation put into it. Rather than giving his normal quip at the end of a take, Tony let out a breath and peered back at the formidable statue of their lost hero. Even Bruce seemed to notice Tony's withdrawl, but the reporter didn't take note of that. Not that a lot of people ever did take note of what Bruce did. Which was truly a shame really. A loyal cameraman, prepared to follow Tony into the face of any danger just to document it. It was lucky that Bruce didn't mind. He enjoyed his job, in a way. He liked the people to see the truth and, from behind the camera, he could choose to show them such. It was a powerful position to be in, but nothing like Tony's knack of captivating and audience and winning them over with a matter of carefully chosen words. Even without those little cards that Pepper had him memorise.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Banner," Tony said quietly, not sparing a glance to the forgotten cameraman before ascending the steps into the museum. A place that he found himself visiting time and time again.

"Tony?" he called after him for once, removing the camera from his shoulder. "Do you want to come around to mine for a bit? It's just that you -"

"It's fine, Bruce. Really. I'll see you later."

The main hall of the museum was empty, as predicted. His shoes sent echoes through the wide empty space, but Tony moved onwards anyway. Why was he even there again? There was nothing here for him. Nothing but memories of a man that had protected the city when no one else could.

Ironically, Loki had decided to pay a little visit to the memorial as well. To pay his respects, really. It was the least he could do under the circumstances. Making their way up in two separate elevators, the pair unknowingly stood across from one another and regarded the statue before them.

"I've made a horrible mistake," Loki murmured to the mock-form of his once sworn enemy as he clutched a bunch of yellow flowers in his hand. It felt odd to admit such out in the open, but right in a certain sense. Like it needed to be said. "I did not intend to destroy you... Well, I did. But I had no intention of it actually working." Loki paused, but only to avert his gaze from the revolving form that seemed to be judging him every time that the face finally turned toward the villain. "I'm so tired of running rampant through the streets. What's the point of being bad when there's no good to try and stop you?"

"Someone has to stop Loki," Tony proclaimed quietly from the other side, jumping when a voice intruded his projected thoughts.

"Hey, we're closing soon."

"Fuck," Tony breathed, turning around to see his neighbor Steve. It wasn't an unknown fact that Steve had a thing for heroes and justice and all that jazz. Perhaps that was why he was so invested in keeping the place open even after Loki took over. Steve looked a bit like a superhero in his own right. Perfect shoulder to waist ratio and just the right amount of shine to his hair. What was it about the people around Tony having great hair? "You scared the crap out of me."

Steve just gave him a bemused look, one of which Tony was not a stranger to. Was there something wrong with him that made the other look like he wanted to crawl away? Okay, yeah, he may have been a little forward when he had first met him. But he was drunk and an attractive guy had moved into the flat next to his. What was a guy supposed to do? Leave that matter to rest? No, he was supposed to seize the opportunity firmly with both hands. Which he did, quite literally.

"Right, yeah," Tony continued, instinctively feeling awkward in the silence, "I was just... huh.. Talking to myself. You must think I'm a little nuts."

"I already thought that, Tony," Steve replied lightly, and Tony wasn't quite sure if he was teasing or being painfully honest. It certainly wasn't an unlikely occurrence to hear minor explosions from his flat at three in the morning. So, really, Steve's perception of him was perfectly justified.

"I'll just be a minute," he assured the blond before Steve moved on with his cart.

"I had so many evil plans in the works," Loki continued from his end of the observing floor, "the illeracy beam, typhoons.. robo-sheep. Oh, that one was going to be a winner. Battles that we will now never have. You know that I never had a chance to say goodbye? So it's good that we have that time together now. You know, before I destroy the place." He took out a compact bomb from the flowers and hit the button before sniffling loudly. Loud enough to rouse a certain reporter who was just about to leave. "It's nothing personal, it just brings back too many painful memories."

Which that, he dropped both the flowers and the bomb down by the statue. Loki looked up at it once more, his eyes brimmed with tears that he had never thought that he would shed for the hero.

"In a way, I thought of us like brothers," he told it, "always bickering, never quite reaching an agreement."

"Hello?" Tony called, making his way around to the still-concealed Loki. The villain's eyes grew wide as he uttered the man's name, instinctively running in the opposite direction. It was only to be predicted that Loki would run right into Steve's cart. If the broad man was surprised, he certainly didn't show it.

"Just a tip for your costume," he began, expression open and tone entirely helpful, "perhaps downsize the markings a little. Loki doesn't have that many. Other than that, really good job. It's almost authentic."

Loki had no time for this. He, like many times before with other matter, dehydrated his form into a tiny cube just in time for Tony to come around the corner. It was only instinct for what form Loki took to disguise himself. He had intended it to be the blond man's, but it certainly didn't happen like that when he looked down at his own hands and saw nothing changed other than pale skin and his clothing that was akin to the blond's uniform.

"Hello?" Tony continued, just reaching the corner, "is someone -" he cut himself off upon seeing Loki. The villain half expected Tony to recoil away in horror, or start spouting accusations about how he ruined this fine city and how he would pay. Having Stark look at him as though he was a treasure about to be stolen was certainly something that he hadn't anticipated.

"I thought that Steve was here?" Tony eventually said once Loki found that he couldn't speak. Where exactly had this guy come from? Tony wondered. He hadn't seen any black haired beauty with long, sleek limbs and piercing green eyes wandering around there a moment ago.

"Ah, yes," Loki began, pressing the pads of his fingers together briefly before he recalled that that was a very Loki-esque way to act. So he promptly dropped his hands and clasped them behind his back. "I'm his colleague. He just left. Apparently he had another engagement he had to attend." Well, at least his silver-tongue hadn't failed him as of yet.

Huh. That kind of made sense. Steve had a rather punctual girlfriend that he never did like to keep waiting. How did Tony know that? Not even he knew, but that wasn't of his concern at that matter in time. What was his concern, however, was the leggy man before him. "Well it's nice to meet you -" he trailed off with a questioning look.

Oh god, what name to use? He couldn't say Loki, for obvious reasons, and such things as Lockie sounded far too similar and like it belonged to a dog. Absently, he glanced around for inspiration before he caught the name of the author of one of the books in the cart before him. "Lucas. Listen, I wouldn't wait around here for more than two minutes and thirty-seven seconds if I were you. We're having the walls and ceiling removed."

The sound of the elevator door dinging open was like a hymn from above. Loki immediately yanked Stark in with him, trying not to pay too much mind to the fact that he was in such close proximity of him and that his cover could blow at any moment. Surely the man wasn't that obtuse to fail to see who he really was.

"Wow, that sounds like quite the renovation," Tony replied, his signature smirk brazenly displayed over his features at the fact that the other had no hesitation in pulling him along with him. Eager, Tony could dig that. Loki stood rigidly, dropping Tony's arm the moment that the elevator doors slid shut behind them. Do they usually take this long? Or perhaps Loki was just highly conscious of the time for obvious reasons. Tony took this time in an enclosed space to roam his eyes shamelessly over the other. And by shamelessly, he really meant pointedly so that the regal seeming other would catch onto his message. Tony was no stranger to a one night fuck, of course he wasn't. In fact, they were his favourite kind of fucks. Guilt free, no strings attached. Just simple and awesome when he made good judgements about a prospect bed mate. And the man beside him certainly was.

"So how long have you worked here?" Tony began, raising a brow a little at the fact that Loki failed to look at him. "I mean, I've been around a lot and I haven't seen you. I most certainly would have, anyway. You're not the kind that a guy easily forgets." Loki managed a low chuckle, wringing his hands together before he realised that a question had been asked.

"Just a few days," he assured him, "still learning the ropes and what not."

"Ah, Steve's showing you the ways then," Tony hummed, evoking a nod from the disguised villain. Which really wasn't the smartest move in the world considering that when Loki hydrated Steve, the man would have no recollection of him at all. Unless he planted false memories into his mind... but that was just a long and difficult road that Loki truly did not want to travel down.

"I kept thinking that he was going to do one of his last minute save to world kind of things," Tony continued, changing his tactic a little as he watched Loki observe Thor's marble form.

"Yes, so did I," came the quiet reply. "He was always so good at those."

"Sometimes I wish that there was a reset button," Tony revealed, rolling his shoulders in way of a shrug that truly just showed how insane even he found the concept to be.

"There isn't," Loki replied definitely, shaking his head as he did so, "I've looked into it." Tony blinked a little at the man's seemingly crushed expression, his hand automatically going to his shoulder in way of comfort (and also to cop a feel, but that wasn't the point.)

"Hey, Lucas, it's okay. I'm sure that someone will challenge Loki. As long as there's evil, good will rise up against it. It's like they say, heroes aren't born. They're made." God, what was he even saying? It sounded like the crap Pepper made him report. None the less, it seemed to work on the other, his expression immediately perking up as though he had seen the silver lining.

"Heroes can be made," Loki repeated, bright eyes going wide as a most genius idea occurred to him. How hadn't he thought of that before? "That's it! All you need are the right ingredients."

"Yeah, definitely," Tony grinned, beaming once he saw his spirits raised. They were in the main hall once again, Loki seemingly forgetting all about the imminent bomb threat. "Bravery, strength, determination. All that crap."

"And just a smidgen of DNA!" Loki finished, throwing his arms out in way of triumph. Why was it always Tony that seemed to supply some kind of inspiration for him time and time again? "Anyone can be a hero."

"Yeah!" Tony agreed, finding that pumped feeling contagious, especially when Loki felt the need to pick Tony up and spin him around. Which, by the way, was an instant turn on for Stark. No matter what anyone said, being able to lift another person was hot. Imagine the possibilities...

Then Loki's timer beeped and the moment was ruined.

"I think we should run now," he told Tony pleasantly. Within the next few seconds, they were outside - having exchanged numbers on the reporter's insistence - and Tony had just gotten into a passing cab. Probably far too enthusiastically for the occasion, Loki waved cheerfully as he departed.

Loki truly should have moved out of the way by the time that the museum exploded. The debris flying from the building certainly wasn't easily dodged, and Loki had genuinely feared for his life. None the less, he managed to make his way back to Minion. Oh, they had so much planning to do.

 

"Create a hero?" Clint had inquired, incredulously at that as he held two cups of coffee and an entire tray of assorted doughnuts. "Wait, wait. _what_? Why would you do that?"

"So that we can have someone to fight," Loki drawled, now back to his normal blue-skinned self (cube-Steve still stored in one of his pockets) as he stuck things up on their literal drawing board. "Clint, I'm a villain without a hero.. A ying with no yang. In other words, I have no purpose." He grinned in a way that someone might just class as insane. "Now, ask me how I'm going to do it."

The other sighed, rolling his eyes in a way that proclaimed just how many times that demand had fallen free from the villain's lips. "How are you going to do it?"

"I am going to give someone, I don't know who yet, Thor's powers," he began explaining, that manic smile still etched into his features, "I shall train that someone to become Metrocity's new hero. Come, Minion, follow the board with your eyes. And then, I will fight that hero in an epic battle between good and evil. Which will put the world back the way it was. When everything was just perfectly balanced."

Loki parted from the board that contained snippets of his plan to pull Clint along to the other side of the room. "Behold, Thor's mighty cape," he breathed, gesturing dramatically to a large piece of red fabric. "Look closely, tell me what you see."

"Dandruff?"

The villain laughed, making it seem like that the flakes of dry scalp was the answer to all of their problems. "It's his DNA. From this, I shall extract the source of his powers." Not taking Clint's noises of protest into account, he brought him along with the DNA into an empty room where they could carry out the procedure. Between Loki's magic and a large machine to put it all together, the plan was mostly fool proof.

Clint wasn't so convinced of that, having spent far too many nights making ice baths for an injured Loki. Either subsequent of a battle with Thor or over exertion of his own powers. Sometimes he really felt like a slave more than anything else.

"I'm saying that this is a kind of bad that, okay you might think is good in your bad perception, but from a good perception - it's just plain bad." Well, that was certainly a mouthful of words wasted on a man who wasn't paying attention to anything other than the golden solid that came from the machine. Loki had obviously overdone it on the magic again, clearly seen by the subtle shake of his hands as he carefully collected the solid and placed it into a gun.

"You have no idea what is good for bad," Loki told him, taking a breath before observing his work. "We only have one shot at this. One chance to find someone suitable. Someone true and noble of mind. Someone who puts the welfare of others above their own."

An odd beat of music started pumping through the room, causing Loki too look to Clint in befuddlement.

"Is your butt rocking out?" Clint asked, looking toward him with wide eyes. Only then did it occur to him that it was an incoming call from the cell phone that never rang. Mainly because no one other than Clint had his number, and they were hardly parted long enough for him to have any need to call. But then there was what happened the night before. Loki felt himself panic a little before he eventually answered, ignoring Clint's curious look.

"'ello?"

"Its hello," Clint corrected in a whisper.

"Oh, yes. Hello?"

"Lucas, its Tony," came the immediate reply, the man on the other end sounding slightly breathless. "Just wanted to thank you for inspiring me yesterday. You're pretty damn good at giving indirect pep talks."

"You're an inspiration to me too, Tony," Loki responded, voice probably a little too low and sincere than what the occasion called for and for someone that he had just supposedly met.

"Oh, really? I'll have to test that later... Anyway! I just found Loki's secret hideout."

At the same time, Clint swivelled Loki around to have a look at the surveillance cameras that distinctively showed Stark talking enthusiastically into the phone. Loki felt himself freeze, his eyes widening in shock.

"How in the world did you find his secret hideout?" he asked urgently into the phone, trying (and failing) not to sound too panicked.

"It's the only damn building in the city with a fake observatory on the roof." Loki really should have dismantled that when he had that chance to.

"There's no way that he'll find the secret entrance," he whispered to Clint, more that likely saying such to calm himself down a little bit.

"Oh my god," Tony gasped, "there's a doormat here that says 'secret entrance'!" Without another word on the line, Tony stepped into the building through the wall and out of the camera's sight.

"I told you to get rid of the doormat," the villain seethed to a very embarrassed looking Clint.

"I kept forgetting where it was."

Loki could have screamed if he didn't have Tony on the other end of the line. He forcefully pushed the gun into Clint's metal hands and shoved him into a closet before slamming the door shut after him.

"You dim witted creation!" Loki yelled at him, ignoring the yelp of surprise from Clint as he was man handled.

"What was that?" Tony inquired, the phone vibrating in Loki's hand.

"Nothing," he said breezily, holding it back up to his ear and desperately hoping that the heavy beating of his heart wasn't audible. "Not you, Tony, I was just yelling at my mother's..." What was a pot doing in his lab? he observed. It looked an awful lot like an, "urn." It was a miracle that Tony didn't even question that. "Do not touch anything, I will be right there."

 

 

Tony really hadn't expected to find anything interesting when he had dragged Bruce along on an apparent lead. He should really make a note that Bruce was not a morning person and that it takes three shots of expresso to get the man out of bed with nothing less than an angry snarl. Tony couldn't really blame him, he was the same after a hangover. But they had news to document, so that was to be overlooked for the time being. As was leaving Bruce alone outside was. In all reality, Tony may have forgotten that as he strode right in - tucking his phone back into his pocket and allowing his eyes to explore

"Tony?" a soft, almost melodic, voice said from behind him. Despite the smooth tone, it did nothing to stop him from jumping and turning around with an extremely startled expression. Standing there was the guy from the night before, now clad in black pants that made Tony want to see what his ass was like and a white shirt that really showed off that figure. Some rational part of his mind knew that this wasn't the time for ogling or shameless flirting, but since when did he listen to that part of his brain?

"I'm glad you're here," Tony told him with a suave grin, trying to down play his scared gasp as though it never happened. Then something occurred to him. "How exactly did you get here so fast?"

"I happened to be speed-walking nearby when you called."

"In a suit?"

"Of course. It's called formal speed-walking. Certainly more preferable than the other forms, but that is not important right now. I'd better take the lead." Loki paused, but only to gesture to the exit door with a hopeful expression. "This way looks exciting."

"No, it says exit," the tenacious reporter said, continuing onwards through the lab like he owned the place.

"Which is an abbreviation for exciting, isn't it?"

"Holy shit!" Tony cried out suddenly, seemingly stumbling across Loki's elaborate drawing board that stretched out over an entire wall. "We've hit the mother load, baby," he continued with a disbelieving laugh, walking further in to get a better look at it all. "Just look at this... Y'know, I could use your help in deciphering all of this. You look smart, and I need some extra smart."

He looked smart, huh? Not the time for that, however.

"Together, we could figure out his plan for the city and stop it," Tony shot on, not noticing Loki's falter in his words. The hammering in his chest never ceased and he even wondered if he was about to suffer from a heart attack. Now wouldn't that just be the icing on the cake?

"I'm in," he assured the other who had began taking pictures. Loki held his watch up to his wrist, urgently uttering, "Clint, deploy the brain-bots."

Well, at least he was responsive because, surely enough, Loki's only magical/mechanical creations buzzed around them like an angry horde of hornets. The last thing that Loki had anticipated happening was for them to take him away.

"It's me, you oafs!" he protested, kicking his long legs fruitlessly in the air. All he could see was Tony ducking out of the way and the container of which Clint hid being knocked over - the gun that contained their answers flying free from his clutches.

"Lucas!" Tony yelled after him, moving into a run as though that would have any chance of stopping them. However, he stopped upon the sight of a curiously glowing gun. Tony was no stranger to weaponry, he considered it a pastime of his. A curious way to kill time, he was all too aware, but he liked tinkering with things that could potentially blow off his hand. No point in playing with something unless it had the potential to burn you. That was Tony's motto, always liking having a bit of a thrill to something. Never the less, the gun that he now held in his hands was nothing like he had ever seen before. Which really only made him more than eager to try it out.

"It's Daddy!" Loki hissed as he thrashed in his creations' grips, now out of sight from Tony as he shifted back to his blue-and-armoured self to show them who exactly they were disposing of. Almost instantly, Loki was dropped to the floor in a heap.

"Loki," Tony growled, evidently catching up with the path that they had taken. "What the hell have you done with Lucas?"

The villain took a few seconds to stand up and compose himself before turning to the reporter, sneering at him as convincingly as he could. "The pale fellow? Oh, yes. I'm doing absolutely horrible things to him. Truly diabolical."

"Let him go," Tony demanded, obviously not taking very kindly to the thought of any torture coming to his newfound friend. Which was kind of touching, in a way.

"Or what?" Loki taunted, only seeing the golden gun at the last minute.

"Or I'm going to see what this weird looking gun does," Tony replied, aiming it with precision and curling the corners of his lips into a satisfied smirk at the fact that he had rendered Loki close to speechlessness. Must be pretty bad, in that case.

"Don't you dare shoot that," Loki warned evenly, gritting his teeth together before finally admitting defeat. "I will go retrieve him."

Diving into a trap door and pretending to be two different people at the one time truly should be listed as a skill for him. Pitching his voice in different ways and saying things that not even he would utter on a bad day.

"Your grip... is too strong," Lucas-Loki grunted, a thud being heard from beneath the door.

"I work out!" Loki-Loki proclaimed.

"Well it is really paying off," Lucas-Loki continued with a cry of utter anguish. "You're so fit.. and strangely charismatic."

Just as Tony was about to open the door to intervene, Lucas-Loki shot out with a force that really pained his legs from propelling himself. That reminded him that he really did need to work on his legs. Perhaps next week. Maybe.

"Fuck, are you okay?" Tony asked, immediately making his way over and crouching beside Loki slumped up against the wall - the effect of a trickle of blood coming from a gash on his forehead really coming in handy in convincing him.

"I will be," Loki assured him bravely, accepting the hand that was offered to help him up. "Here, let me take the gun for you.."

"It's fine," Tony quipped back, holding it once more in that professional way that made Loki think that that hadn't been the first time that he had held a gun. "I've got us covered. Just stay close, don't want you getting hurt again, do we?"

He really had no choice but to let Tony go ahead a few paces before hiding and changing back to his villain-self. He tried to seize the gun from Tony's strong grip, only succeeding in actually firing it. The solid was shot out of it and all they could do was watch at it ricocheted off of the walls and into a pipeline that lead to outside. The distinctive, but slightly muffled 'ow!' that they heard from outside was signal enough that someone had been hit.

"Who on earth is that?" Clint wondered from the surveillance cameras, seeing a sprawled out man with a shattered camera by his side.

Figuring that his companion had taken the opportunity to escape, Tony sprinted toward the exit door that they had seen earlier - only finding himself to be almost falling off a ledge into a pit of alligators. Whatever Tony had accused Loki of being predictable before, he really did have to give him some recognition for that.

"Tony!" Loki yelled, yanking him by the cuff of his shirt back from the door. Now pale skinned once more, he thought it best to bring Stark outside and away from whatever he might find, and discover who had been hit by Thor's powers.

"Here, throw this!" the reporter called behind him as they ran, tossing what looked to be a stick of dynamite. And, yes, the top of it was lit. Do reporters usually carry around heavy explosives wherever they go? Giving a few futile attempts to blow it out, Loki whispered a hasty 'Daddy's sorry' before tossing it back into his pursuing creations' paths. They were subsequently blown out of the secret entrance once more, narrowly missing the flames that licked their backs. Loki should really lay off on the explosive the environments as of late. Two bombs in two days just wasn't healthy.

Tony and Loki lay on the ground beside one another, both of them trying to catch their breaths and remove the gathered smoke in their lungs. After a few moments, Tony sat up and grinned down at Loki.

"What about that for a first date?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually was not expecting such a response about this, but thank you for doing so and urging me out of a lazy state to actually write some more. I was a little caught between having Loki disguising himself as Steve or the path I did take. But I literally just chose by a coin flip. So, do tell me if you think I should have done it another way. I'll see what I can do. The next chapter will be stemming away from the plot just a little bit. I have plans for Pepper and Steve. They may be menial plans and still in the works, but they're brewing. Thank you again!

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this concept in my mind for a while, and eventually sat down to do it. Hopefully it's somewhat true to character and the film. I will be changing a few details to fit in accordance to other characters and their personalities, but it will be mostly the plot from Megamind. It took a while to conjure this, mainly due to extreme procrastination, so I'm unsure as to how long it will take to update. None the less, I hope you enjoyed the first chapter. I'm anticipating around four chapters, but I'm unsure of such. Do let me know your thoughts, and constructive criticism is always welcome.


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